It is Day 12 of the “Stay Home” mandate, and the closure of all "non-essential” businesses in San Francisco.
Yesterday I broke down and had a good cry - letting my fear and anxiety bubble up to the surface. Practicing social distancing and feeling ‘non-essential’ to my community is sooo hard for me. My life's purpose has always been to create and share beauty with others in an intimate way. This feels impossible right now - as everyone is stressed and de-prioritizing the importance of beauty in our lives.
Social distancing has forced me to feel even more alone at a time when I need to feel like a part of the community and act together with my community to lower the curve of Covid-19 in California and across the United States. As a creative maker/doer, I’ve tried to self-sooth by baking, cooking and sewing, but I have repeatedly failed because I’m stressed, I don’t have the right ingredients or materials, and I don’t want to be doing those things! Failing to produce anything useful or beautiful has sucked me down into a spiral of deep sadness and feelings of despair. When will this end?!
Of course, I am doing all the “right” things to protect myself from becoming a vector for Covid-19. I’ve reduced my shopping trips to once a week, and always wear a mask when leaving my house. My home has become a sanctuary of safety and solitude.
But I miss my life as a hairdresser and confidant. I miss being a productive and creative member of society. I miss bringing a sense of beauty and wellness to my beloved clients. I miss the daily updates and sharing of mutual experiences and perspectives.
My work as a hairdresser is a personal and creative expression of love - for each and every one of you. While it may seem like a “non-essential service”, it is a way for me to express my love and appreciation for and to you. When you come to see me in the salon - I give you a piece of my heart along with your haircut or color.
How are you coping with social distancing and the “stay-home” mandate?